Becoming the worse version of yourself, or so they say. Well hell!

Over the last year or so, I have seen myself slowly changing into someone I don’t quite recognize. Yes, yes this is not the best thing or is it?

 

I have always been known as the one who holds her tongue on things that are bothersome to me, for fear of hurting someone else’ feeling, because a wise woman once said to me, never throw stone for stone, or do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So to be that better person meant taking every ugly punch, every shitty limerick so smart ass face had for me. Why? Because I didn’t want to be who they were as a person and this beautiful notion of kill them with kindness has been drilled into my every being. I want to go to heaven and not hell. LOL!!! Ole’ southern thing it is. Well, as I grow older, my tolerance for this has become thinner and thinner. I have grown a thick layer of skin because well, I have become sick of being the humble and weak, choir girl everyone seems to think I am. Although if truth be told that is who I am; underneath it all.

Over the few years prior to my serious relationship (Yes I am happy and all the way in love), I learned to be a little stronger and give less 2nd chances to those who wouldn’t think twice to toss me away without considering their own actions and step into those places that allow me to be the better version of me. My normally soft voice of reasoning has become firm and matter of fact. I am still a listener, yet I steer clear of the conversations that are filled with useless garbage. I am a giver, but I will not be used. I loved unconditional, that part will not change. Although I will say, loving those who love you not, even after friendships are closed, well that’s the part that makes for the trials. That’s the part of me that tugs are my hearts strings. I always seem to question the relationships that were severed even when I know the reasons but I get this friendly reminder, that was a chapter that gave me what I needed and it was time to shut that door and move forward into something more promising. Not all friendships are going to be closed forever, but sometimes years of self servitude is what is needed to realize the error on both parts, if it took both parts to ruin it. Trust me, I know, I have experienced it and I love the current renewed friendship we have now. I have been told that I am mean or a bitch or however you want to word my new behavior, but those who love me and matter will either grow with me or leave me for new ventures and I won’t love you any less than I do now. Its because we have all memories that I cherish and I still smile about it. So that helps me know who I am in myself and on my journey through life. For that I am grateful.

So you see, whether I have become the worse version of myself or not is a matter of opinion. I think I have become a bit stronger than normal. Yet not to the point of losing the humbleness or remembering where I came from because its where I can from that reminds me to remain humble, to love those closes to me, to share with those who have less than I because I am no better than the next. So with that I can say I love the new me and I pray to grow stronger in my value and stronger with the current friendship I hold now.

 

Love and Light ~XoXoX J.M.

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Render Me Silent……….

It’s a beautiful thing, the silence, and the way it expects nothing in return. because the silence can’t talk back with a sly tongue and sharp insults and broken promises. the silence can’t steal kisses under the moonlight only to give them back in the breaking of the day. the silence can’t hold my hand under the table only to snatch it back when I run my thumb against its warm skin. the silence doesn’t have a temper and a mouth to match. the silence can’t storm out in the middle of a fight, slamming doors and shattering glass without a second thought. the silence can’t shout and scream and tell me that it doesn’t love me anymore and maybe it never really did in the first place. you see, the silence can’t claw my heart out of my chest, leaving me broken and bloody in a heap on the ground, but you can. and you did. and so the next time someone asks why I prefer the solitude, I’ll make sure I start with the story of you.

 

This was a poem written by a fellow Tumblr. The beauty speaks volumes.. .— e.s

 

Hueys and That Social Love Talk

Huey’s is one of my favorite spots to drink, eat and be merry(pun intended). So when asked to create a live event story, based off my beat I chose to do it from here. That way I can get the story as well as the spirit healer. LOL!! My event was brunch, no they don’t have brunch, however, the poinsettia mimosas made it feel like it. I was the creator of this event as it helps me step into a more comforting zone when speaking on this matter. I chose to speak with someone who is very near and dear to me about social media and dating. We ate plenty as well as talked about her experience with dating and also her views on social media and finding love as a whole. I think having a one -on- one with people in regards to the social media love trend and how it would affect you in the long run is so important. You never know whose words would be needed to help someone in need of either stepping away from being that desperate to be married person or have a relationship with someone else outside of the one  you have with yourself.

Going Viral, Not Popular by Demand……

Well well well. This was one that I am sure I will try to venture on again because being that I want to eventually become a writer, I would need to have my material out there as well as the numbers.My daughter takes a class at school called ‘Teen Living’and in this class, she is required to bring home an actual live(well sorta) doll for overnight parental experience. So I thought this would be a great chance to use this to help with the creation of the meme. So, I asked her about how she would feel about doing her assignment and mixing it with mines to create a funny meme to get peoples attention. She thought that would be cool. She immediately jumped into helping me find the right app to get the picture set. I managed to try to get the proper apps needed to get the downloaded meme created successfully and with just a little help from my 13 year-old, I found the right picture and words to get the right meme created.It was very fun to do,because I got the spend time doing something I loved mixed with something she is more advanced in than me.  I thought this was hilarious, however, the farthest I could get the meme sent around was a few friends and family. I tried to contact a friend who could definitely get this to go viral, unfortunately with his busy schedule that was NOT successful. I thought the meme was funny, a few thought I was wrong for using the picture I used as a meme and also they felt it was offensive,being that this is surrounding a serious topic. I got about 5 views out of the entire “viral” attempt.

Did I enjoy it, yes, was it a mass success, not really, but I will continue to try this because at least I got some attention. When I first started my website, I got 1 view a day, I got a little discouraged because I thought this was me, but turns out, I needed to put a LOT more effort into getting this out to right media sources and friends. All and all I learned a valuable lesson while getting time with my daughter. murrays-next-guest

Haiku’n It

Jaunette Mays
10/3/16 Quiz

1. Name one of the reasons Journalist are underestimating the mobile resolution?

Mobile can be more of a threat than an opportunity…..

2. According to fivethirtyeight.com, what is each candidate’s chance of winning the presidency are? What day and time and also percentages’ and when you looked at it?

Hilary Clinton stands at 71.9%, while Donald Trump stands at 28.1% on Oct 4th @ 2:05 am.

3. Write a haiku about a location based social media.

Stress is a killer
Maybe try drinking a little bit o’ liquor Heals a lot quicker

Social Awkwardness with Online Dating

Can it be hard spark up a conversation online? Very much so. I have friends who are socially  impaired and yet you would think going online to find a date or even spark something other than a relationship with your T.V. would be as simple as the click of a button. Unfortunately for some, this is just as bad as going out to see them face to face.

When you are someone who doesn’t necessarily know how to begin, here are a few tips on where to begin:

  1. Jot down what you are actually looking for when you go on these sites.
  2. Familiarize yourself with the sites you want to use and what they offer before you start posting pictures and bios.( I mean you don’t want to attract too many crazies).
  3. Get your girlfriends or someone you trusts opinion about the site and google any questions you may have regarding the sites legitimacy.
  4. What exactly is your purpose for utilizing this site, I mean it doesn’t have to be an immediate love at first site thing, this can be a trial and error event. You may even find you have found someone to talk about your work day that truly understands it.
  5. What are your favorite conversational topics?
  6. Lastly but not least, know when and when not  to exchange personal information. Just because he states he is not a killer and that all his credentials are online, that doesn’t mean its true. If you are aware of the internet and the havoc it wreaks on peoples lives, you should know to be leery when giving information before its proper time.

I am no expert  on social media dating however, I do know that in some cases, living behind the screen can be a safe-haven to a degree that will help you flourish in learning to approach this matter with open arms and before you know it, you will be at bars, striking up conversations about anything from their favorite lager to where they would like to see the next Superbowl played and with which teams.

 

The Haves and Have Nots Of Love Online

In looking to find love, many have succeeded in finding it, yet the challenge has been keeping it. One thing people don’t get is everything that involves you and your partner, doesn’t have to be posted via social media. Some things should be sacred and left for those to guess. Look at Beyonce and Jay-Z. There are so many people who speculate on the ups and downs of their marriage, yet regardless to what is being said, they remain true to them. They have found ways to be more than hashtags and links in the world that continues to believe without it, you have no love or life. This is what we call a HAVE.

Prime example, Rob and Black Chyna. The mess that is there relationship is a great example of how you can expose too much of what you have and with the worlds opinion of the relationship at their finger tips, immediately the doubt starts to flood and causes more chaos than required. In some relationship, they required dysfunction and don’t know any other way, this is why they chose Social Media. A means to help them think; to dictate the things that should or shouldn’t happen in their relationships. This is definitely a HAVE NOT!

In maintaining something that you hold dear and near to you, I have found you treat it that way. Keep that part of you, with you. Share only small moments of your relationship. In the end, it will hold strong, live Gorilla glue, and lets face it, that stuff really holds.

Any thoughts? Do you post all that goes on in your love life on Social Media and how has this affected your relationship?

 

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Love and Social Media

  1. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tyler-curry/how-social-media-are-ruining-your-love-life_b_4317987.html
  2. In this particular blog, the answers to why social media can be a great harm to relationship building are touched on, not in great depth, but just enough to get you wondering about your own motives as well as past actions. They bring out the point about the façade of what is portrayed on social media prior to getting to know the real person vs what they chose to show to the world. There weren’t any readily available comments as this blog has yet to set that up, I think this is something they can improve on; opening up to let their audience have an opinion on the matter and even helping those who may have further questions about the matter as a whole.
  3. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marty-mcpadden/7-truths-about-social-media_b_2009105.html
  4.  Now this blog spot has given all the logistics of the dos and don’ts when it comes to social media dating, which is awesome. They have basically broken down more need-to-know information than the first blog I chose. Although the first blog was informative, it was as informative as this particular one. Both seem to come from Huffington post and shockingly enough, neither have comment sections for their audience to ask questions or intermingle with those who may visit the site. To me that would be the biggest mistake, unless their appeal was just to be straightforward, leave no room for suggestions/question, but then how do you know if what you are dishing out to your audience is being helpful or just smoke in the wind.

My Cozy New York Style Home

I walk in my apartment once I get off with ease as I open my front door, which is hanging on for dear life; a door that has a dent in the center, and a doorknob that has an antique feel. It gives off an aged look, one that shows a door that has been through a lot of weathering.

As I enter my home, I step on a ceramic white tile, which is slightly cracked to the right corner.

Continuing to move further into the house, my living area is a mini version of Carrie Bradshaw’s apartment from Sex and the City; small wall- to- wall portraits of vintage memories. I managed to collect pictures from great artist such as The Rat Pack and Miles Davis; all in black- and- white coloring.

My small dining area is a little “Paris-y”. A portrait of the Eiffel tower hangs just above my dining area on the center wall in the dining area. If you look to your left, you will find the images of Penn Station and Madison Square Garden. Managing to maintain the beauty that is New York while in Memphis, I have a metal piece in the shape of a musical clef.

A little walk through my home will give off the vibe of Manhattan’s quaint little shops. My washer has the oldie but goodie feel, while my hall walls hold small to large round mirrors. In the final room of my home I have managed to maintain that ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ theme to keep a small piece of the city with me through the night.

Just Because I am Taller, Doesn’t Mean I Am Older

Jaunette Mays

My sister, Catrina Mays, is smaller than I am, but she can pack a punch with her words. She first manages to get her softer side when trying to convince a room full of men to which she over sees that they must follow her lead. Then she stands with her 5 ft 2 in height and yells because well, of course you can’t always make a grown man do things you want.

She has shorter hair than mines, but that is because she won’t let it grow. She’s has a more liter side than I do, because she doesn’t have as much on her plate as I do. She calls me when its time to do the family cooking, because her cooking is horrible. She gets all her advice from me on men, job decisions as well as her children; this could be because they look at me as a mean mom and there’s that fear of me embarrassing them in school.

So needless to say, people think I am the eldest, but my short, wide-eyed, free-spirited sister is older. She’s three years older than me. She’s had more jobs than me. She remembers picking apples from a garden our grandparents had that I never knew existed and, she had the very first form of coolness that is the beeper. She is OLD!